- you must love mexican food and be able to eat jalapenos whole and enjoy all spicy things
- you must recognize and spread the word that "Tejas" was once in fact it's own republic
- you must be able to mow a lawn because there's plenty of land and he who hasn't mowed a lawn in texas is not a true texan
- you must love pecans and all the various delicacies made with pecans
- you must be able to recognize an armadillo, a horned toad, and a rattlesnake and know that each of them is deadly and can kill you
- you must use the words "ya'll", "fixin to", and "I reckon" in the correct context
- and the biggest one of all--you MUST LOVE FOOTBALL! If you cannot claim to love football then you must BS your way enough to act like you like it or know something about it because football, is a way of life in Texas.
- On Sundays, Churches, no matter what religion, all get out before 12 noon, in order to give you time to eat lunch and make that 1:00pm game on TV. In fact, I remember on several occasions the pastor of our church stating out loud at the pulpit " Don't worry folks, I will be cutting this sermon on extramarital affairs short today because Dallas is playing, so put your watches away and let's get to it so we can cheer our boy's on" That sermon would start at 11:30 and we'd be out by 11:55, singing, call to the altar for salvation, and closing prayer all complete.
- Restaurants are commonly known to put up signs to say that they are closed because of the game. This was very common Friday nights when High School football was a home game.
- People put up yard signs, hung huge banners across the front of their houses, hung floral wreaths adorned with NFL football colors of their favorite teams on their front doors (much like Christmas Wreaths) they strung colored Christmas lights on their houses with their teams colors, they paid extra money to have their license plates on their cars with their team names, they actually wore and still do wear the football team jackets in the winter, they dress comfortably in their teams winter scarves, woolen hats and mittens, they dress their children in those same clothes, they listen to radio Walkmans during meals out so they won't miss the game.
- Wives and girlfriends of men who are die hard fans understand that they cannot plan anything with their significant others on Sunday or Monday nights during the season for it's a lost cause, so they hold their knitting circles or reserve their out of town shopping trips for Sunday and Monday's.
- And this will take the cake for you: They dress their dogs as mascots of their favorite teams and take pictures of them to send and use on their Christmas cards.
This is all dreadful proof, and shocking I"m sure, to you, unless you grew up in Texas, and as much as I used to laugh and call these people names (not bad names, I just thought they were all insane) I moved to NYC two years ago and I can honestly say: I miss this crazy lifestyle.
I remember when I was growing up on Sundays my dad would have the game on in the living room, I'd be sitting at the kitchen table struggling over Algebra, my sister would be tormenting me somehow or playing with her barbies, my mother would be in the kitchen cooking something yummy and humming out loud, my baby brother playing with his GI Joes, and life was good and normal. To these days, if I want some comfort, some reminiscing, I will turn the game on on Sunday and even if I don't watch it (which most of the time I do, I AM from Texas remember) it's soothing to my ears. It's like stepping back in time to a place that I loved, and sometimes couldn't understand.
The Cowboy's aren't doing too great tonight, Romo is affected by the cold in Pittsburgh and defense is not too strong, but I am a Texan and so, in true Texas fashion, as my church pastor used to say "I"m gonna put this post to bed so I can cheer my boy's on."
No comments:
Post a Comment